Monday, January 7, 2008

Are you Joseph or Mary?

I know this post is late, but I need to take this off my chest. They say that what you learned in Kindergarden, you carry for life.

I do not remember kindergarden that much, except that I drew a lot of castles and soldiers on jeeps. But I do remember a lot about grade school to actually say that what I learned in life, I learned in grade school.

Thus my first lesson in discrimination came, surprise, surprise from the Christmas pageant! Yep, that annual ritual of having you practice for a stage presentation of the Christmas story or how the world celebrates Christmas. Naturally, the teachers select the cast and here is where they can be brutal.

The fat kid. Natural choice for Santa Claus. To be chosen as Santa Claus means that your teacher actually think that you will be morbidly obese for the rest of your life and you will suffer a stroke at forty.

The Shepherds. To be played by those who are simply "average" in class. To be selected as shepherd means that while you are not necessarilly a bad student, you are simply good as crowd material in the play.

The Wisemen. Played by the Nerds. See the obvious connection here: Wise men of old equals present day Nerds. Did Baltazar format a hard drive for Herod?

Mary and Joseph. The ultimate dream role for a fifth grader. To be selected as Mary means that you are pretty and may one day represent the country in the Miss Pacific Coastal Cities Internet Tourism Beauty Pageant tilt. It also means that you are the seen as "mahinhin".

Joseph is reserved for the future hunks and champion athletes.

I was never handsome or tall enough to play Joseph. I never even attempted.

"So you want to play Joseph? bwahahahahaha...Sister Dorothy, listen to this guy. Boy, you are funny. I know a role which will fit your character. You know, some leather here, a shield and a sword there. Some body armor....hahaha Joseph?"

I played the Centurion in fifth and sixth grade. Does it mean that my teachers think that I have the making of a potential killer?

You think I had it bad? I know of someone who played the sheep.

Twenty six years later.

The fat kid who played Santa turned out to be one of the tallest and hunkiest in our class. The wonders of Richard Simmon's videos.

Two of the shepherds are in rehab. One owns a company selling toothpicks. One was shot in the leg by drunk policemen. (while singing "My Way" no doubt)

The guy who played Joseph is a lawyer and also a hunk. He was also a SEA Games Gold medalist.

The girl who played Mary became pregnant at 15. We don't know where she is.

And the sheep? After much therapy, now works in our Publicity Department.


  1. I would most likely be Santa Claus all right... although I never played it, and if I did, the Santa suit would be stinking with sweat. But in the nativity play... I think I'd rather play Herod. It's great to be evil. Mwahahaha.

  2. I enjoyed reading your two posts. Keep 'em coming!

    I played the "mom" in the family visiting the holy family. It's funny because I'm probably the last one to be a Mom in our batch. Haha!

  3. hey madmuse!!

    The "mom"? Boy, your scriptwriters were very creative.

  4. Bwahaha. very funny Vinney. I do remember playing one of the 'kings' or 'wisemen' in our kindergarten christmas play. I had this picture with flowing cape, jughead-style crown and bell-bottom gabardine pants. I was actually supposed to play the inkeeper whose line goes: 'no room, no room'. However, i had a problem pronouncing 'R' that time. when i tried the part and said, 'no yoom, no yoom' my teacher decided to let me play the dailogue-free king instead. btw, my eldest Josh played Joseph in the church christmas play. Improvement of race?

  5. Hey Alan,

    Take care of your Joseph. Future Hunk you have there.