Everywhere you look, there appears to be advertisements for whitening products. In the past the endorsers and users of whitening products appear to be entirely women. But what is this business of men using whitening products?
Some are even endorsed by men. I cringe at the sight of driving along EDSA seeing the testimonials of some very white (and very smooth) actor or celebrity endorsing whitening products.
Let it be made clear here. Remember the adage: TALL, DARK and HANDSOME? A manly man must be dark and dusky. If by the accident of genetics you are fair skinned, it is your Godly obligation to manliness to make yourself dark by spending time outdoors or by going to a tanning saloon. The rule does not apply to those with albinism.
We should be thankful as a race, for we are blessed with the genes that make our skin lusciously brown. Male, or female our complexion makes us the envy of many. I’ve been to beaches outside of the Philippines and our perfect brown skin makes us the center of attention. No ugly freckles here, no sir!! No rough pinkish skin!! But most of all we do not need suntan lotion to get that gorgeous tan; we just need a little SPF protection here and there to save us from the horrors of sunburn.
I remember this funny incident when I was part of the Rowing Team. During one practice, we were passing around this bottle we thought contained sun block. Three hours into the practice, and several pass of the bottle later we discovered it contained suntan lotion. The label said “SPF1 for a deep, rich and luscious Caribbean tan”. For several days the entire team was not brown, we were all bronze. Make that Supermodel bronze.
Going back to men who want to be white, let me say this, vanity has its limits. A manly man is allowed only a few degrees of vanity, too much vanity and ..and..You’ve crossed over to the other side. What better sign than a manly man who suddenly becomes whiter and ..ahemmm…smoother. If you noticed your male office mate gradually looking whiter and whiter, talk to him, he might need your advice:
“You don’t have to hide it you know…we’ll be here for you. But please, whatever you do, please do not land in prison, you will be popular there..”
Men are by the laws of nature allowed a certain roughness in their appearance. Our skin is scarred by old war wounds, cuts from power tools, burn marks from using fireworks and explosives, the nicks from playing physical sports, the dryness from being exposed to the sun and pollution and the general lack of use of moisturizers, sun block and lotion.
Glutathione, Papaya soap, bleach and sulfur. None of which have been proven by science to give you permanent whitening. Read the labels, “NO APPROVED THERAPEUTIC CLAIMS”. Gene therapy may be the only hope, but why waste billions of dollars in cancer research to cater to the vanity of some (errrr) men who wants a creamy complexion—or even pinkish male nipples. There are even clinics who offer injectable glutathione. The caveat here is that you will have to regularly go back to get your glutathione shot, otherwise you loose your creaminess. So getting white is just like becoming a cocaine addict, once you start, there is no way you can stop from shooting up. What would happen if you overdose? Do you turn invisible?
Take my advice and my advice is applicable to both men and women. The rest of the world is spending billions of dollars in suntan lotions and tanning saloons. Does it make sense to make yourself white when you are just perfect being brown?
Here is my take here. If you need to whiten your skin to feel good, then your problem is self-esteem. Dr. Calayan or Dr. Bello cannot cure that.
There is a cheaper way to be white. Use Boysen.
Showing posts with label Men's Hygiene. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Men's Hygiene. Show all posts
Friday, June 6, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Hair up there
Apart from the ones they have on their head, women hate hair. They go to all sorts of rituals and chemicals to pluck, remove, and burn excess body hair. I could never imagine myself going through waxing. Or having to pluck my eyebrows.
Men love hair. They will trim them a little, but they are generally resigned to nature’s carpeting.
The Bedouins have a curse which says “May God pluck your beard”. Thus a manly man without bodily hair is bordering on gayhood (ok, “Metrosexual”). Just imagine a fair-skinned guy, with milky white flesh, without any body hair and pinkish nipples…Damn…he will be popular in prison.
“Come to Papa….bwahahahaha”.
Men start growing body hair early in their teens. “Secondary bodily hair” according to my biology teacher. Here is a hint to parents: If you want to know what is the best time to have your son circumcised, the answer is simple. Do it before he starts growing pubic hair. For there is nothing more embarrassing than being uncircumcised and already hairy down there. It could get you into a lot of trouble. I remember this kid who was one year older than me in school. The story going around was that at grade five, he was already “Fidel Castro”. There was even a huge vandalism in the boy’s rest room:
“SI ___________, MAY BULBUL NA”.
After the awkward years of puberty, men’s hair (primary or secondary) becomes a status symbol. I grew up in the 1980s—yep the bad hair decade. I actually envied those in 70’s or even from the 2000s onward. They could wear afros or could have their hair really long like an Apache Indian. In the ‘80s we only have the “Gel Look”. In college, it was mandatory ROTC training for us so, every able bodied males had their “2 x 3s” for two years or in my case it was four years because I took the advanced ROTC course. We were not even allowed to have beards or moustache. I think that it would be late for me to wear an afro. A middle-aged lawyer, in an afro before a judge?
Underarm hair. We do nothing with it, unlike women who have to contend with the how and why of underarm hair removal. But it doesn’t mean men should display them. Imagine yourself in the crowded MRT and the guy next to you is wearing a sleeveless shirt and decides to raise his arms on the grab bar?
We do not shave our legs. We like then as they are thank you. A manly man without hair on his legs is definitely not one of ours and should be treated as a captured spy.
Our facial hair is covered by a few rules. Rule No. 1: You may shave your beard or moustache, Rule No. 2: You must trim your nose hairs or your ear hair, Rule No. 3: You should not shave your eyebrows (Remember Commandant Mauser in the Police Academy Movies?).
And lastly our chest hairs. Chest hairs are acceptable. Hair on the back of a manly man? Scary. I remember this guy I saw on a beach in Hawaii, he had carpeting on his back…and his eyebrows were pretty thick too.
As for me, I am no Burt Reynolds, but I am proud to say that I have sufficient hair on my torso to turn off any un-manly advance by my cellblock mates.
Men love hair. They will trim them a little, but they are generally resigned to nature’s carpeting.
The Bedouins have a curse which says “May God pluck your beard”. Thus a manly man without bodily hair is bordering on gayhood (ok, “Metrosexual”). Just imagine a fair-skinned guy, with milky white flesh, without any body hair and pinkish nipples…Damn…he will be popular in prison.
“Come to Papa….bwahahahaha”.
Men start growing body hair early in their teens. “Secondary bodily hair” according to my biology teacher. Here is a hint to parents: If you want to know what is the best time to have your son circumcised, the answer is simple. Do it before he starts growing pubic hair. For there is nothing more embarrassing than being uncircumcised and already hairy down there. It could get you into a lot of trouble. I remember this kid who was one year older than me in school. The story going around was that at grade five, he was already “Fidel Castro”. There was even a huge vandalism in the boy’s rest room:
“SI ___________, MAY BULBUL NA”.
After the awkward years of puberty, men’s hair (primary or secondary) becomes a status symbol. I grew up in the 1980s—yep the bad hair decade. I actually envied those in 70’s or even from the 2000s onward. They could wear afros or could have their hair really long like an Apache Indian. In the ‘80s we only have the “Gel Look”. In college, it was mandatory ROTC training for us so, every able bodied males had their “2 x 3s” for two years or in my case it was four years because I took the advanced ROTC course. We were not even allowed to have beards or moustache. I think that it would be late for me to wear an afro. A middle-aged lawyer, in an afro before a judge?
Underarm hair. We do nothing with it, unlike women who have to contend with the how and why of underarm hair removal. But it doesn’t mean men should display them. Imagine yourself in the crowded MRT and the guy next to you is wearing a sleeveless shirt and decides to raise his arms on the grab bar?
We do not shave our legs. We like then as they are thank you. A manly man without hair on his legs is definitely not one of ours and should be treated as a captured spy.
Our facial hair is covered by a few rules. Rule No. 1: You may shave your beard or moustache, Rule No. 2: You must trim your nose hairs or your ear hair, Rule No. 3: You should not shave your eyebrows (Remember Commandant Mauser in the Police Academy Movies?).
And lastly our chest hairs. Chest hairs are acceptable. Hair on the back of a manly man? Scary. I remember this guy I saw on a beach in Hawaii, he had carpeting on his back…and his eyebrows were pretty thick too.
As for me, I am no Burt Reynolds, but I am proud to say that I have sufficient hair on my torso to turn off any un-manly advance by my cellblock mates.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
No Perfumes Please
When it comes to hygiene, the Manly Man needs very little. Don’t get me wrong, the Manly Man is not a stinky man, but our vanity is tempered compared to the vanity of the Girly Girl.
Our needs are simple: Soap, shampoo, deodorant stick, shaving razor, toothbrush and toothpaste, comb. Optional items are mouthwash, dental floss, and conditioner. Seven mandatory items, three optional items. When I was in military training, the items are pared down to five: Laundry soap (aka “Bareta”), toothbrush and toothpaste, razor and a comb. Ahhh, the magic of the laundry soap, we use it to clean our clothes and for bathing. It will get any dirt, stain or gunk out.
Which brings me to my next point, how does the manly man define hygiene? First, he has to bathe everyday and clean his hair. He needs soap, not that soft, creamy Ivory Soap thingy. Because a man’s body generates buckets of sweat and he is exposed to all sorts of gooey stuff, he needs something to remove gunk and oil and to suppress strong odors. Cleaning your hair, shampoo usually does the trick and no fruity scents please. Conditioners are optional.
Second he needs a deodorant that does not smell like deodorant. Deodorants must control odor and perspiration; it should not be a substitute for perfume. Nothing is more offensive smelling than a Manly Man whose underarm protection you could smell.
Hmmmm… .Is that Rexona?
Thus a manly man must smell like soap and water. No deodorant scents and no perfumes or cologne please. Perhaps the only compromise here is that he is allowed to occasionally dab himself with after shave. The guy who is reeking with the scent of perfume is either gay or a Dirty Old Man—or both.
Third, he must brush his teeth and shave. Notice that there is no shaving crème in my list? If you have soap and water, there is actually no need for shaving crème—unless you have sensitive skin like me.
We do not need facial cleaners, pore cleaners, nose wax, nose pore openers, lotions, sun blocks, facial sun blocks, eye brow liners (guy brow liners?) or what have you. Best proof that a guy is gay? The big vanity kit is a give away. So when you have some guy in the men’s room bringing a huge bag full of vanity stuff and he actually starts using the oil removing film, he is definitely gay.
As for me, I’ve given up the laundry soap for the more civilized bar of Safeguard. But I still keep some handy in the house to remove oil and other manly gunk.
Our needs are simple: Soap, shampoo, deodorant stick, shaving razor, toothbrush and toothpaste, comb. Optional items are mouthwash, dental floss, and conditioner. Seven mandatory items, three optional items. When I was in military training, the items are pared down to five: Laundry soap (aka “Bareta”), toothbrush and toothpaste, razor and a comb. Ahhh, the magic of the laundry soap, we use it to clean our clothes and for bathing. It will get any dirt, stain or gunk out.
Which brings me to my next point, how does the manly man define hygiene? First, he has to bathe everyday and clean his hair. He needs soap, not that soft, creamy Ivory Soap thingy. Because a man’s body generates buckets of sweat and he is exposed to all sorts of gooey stuff, he needs something to remove gunk and oil and to suppress strong odors. Cleaning your hair, shampoo usually does the trick and no fruity scents please. Conditioners are optional.
Second he needs a deodorant that does not smell like deodorant. Deodorants must control odor and perspiration; it should not be a substitute for perfume. Nothing is more offensive smelling than a Manly Man whose underarm protection you could smell.
Hmmmm… .Is that Rexona?
Thus a manly man must smell like soap and water. No deodorant scents and no perfumes or cologne please. Perhaps the only compromise here is that he is allowed to occasionally dab himself with after shave. The guy who is reeking with the scent of perfume is either gay or a Dirty Old Man—or both.
Third, he must brush his teeth and shave. Notice that there is no shaving crème in my list? If you have soap and water, there is actually no need for shaving crème—unless you have sensitive skin like me.
We do not need facial cleaners, pore cleaners, nose wax, nose pore openers, lotions, sun blocks, facial sun blocks, eye brow liners (guy brow liners?) or what have you. Best proof that a guy is gay? The big vanity kit is a give away. So when you have some guy in the men’s room bringing a huge bag full of vanity stuff and he actually starts using the oil removing film, he is definitely gay.
As for me, I’ve given up the laundry soap for the more civilized bar of Safeguard. But I still keep some handy in the house to remove oil and other manly gunk.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
